BackSliding
by deli.cat
Summary: Shuichi thought he had overcome the Aizawa incident, but some things aren't so easily forgotten ... and Yuki might just have to deal with the consequences. (YxS, first-attempt, C&C wildly appreciated :D)


Okay, I don't know where this came from, and I sure as hell don't know where I'm going with this either, but here it is; My first-ever fanfiction. I hope it's not too disappointing, but if it is, could you please tell me where I went wrong and what I should improve on? Since I have very limited experience in writing, and I would like to get better in time.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

Warnings: Nothing major. Bad spelling? English is not my first language, so forgive any grammar-butchering that may have occurred.

Takes place after the anime.

* * *

It was too crowded, Shuichi thought as he surveyed the small supermarket he was standing in, a pack of cigarettes in his hand. People were pushing into him as the line slowly crept towards the dishevelled looking cashier, to the point that he was tempted to push back just as hard.

"Hey kid! Hurry up and move!" A heavy hand landed on his shoulder, making him jump. He gasped and turned around quickly, only to find a heavy-set man giving him an icy glare. Shuichi was about ready to tell him to shove it, when he felt something, an vague sort of instinct perhaps, telling him to back off. Maybe it was the strange glint in the man's eyes, or maybe it was the way the clammy hand held his shoulder in an almost dominating way, but it made him nod his head and turn around to close the distance he hadn't noticed forming between him and the other customers.

He wasn't sure what had made him swallow his comment, but he knew his gut instinct had been right when he heard the man mumble, _"Little fag,_" under his breath. Shuichi flushed darkly, and quenched the warring urges that were telling him to either get the hell out of there or deck the man. Hard. But most of all, it made all the alarm bells go off in his head. The combination of the stifling crowd and the man behind him made him aware of something he thought he'd locked away a long time ago. Fear of getting attacked. Just like the time with Aizawa. He now knew what he had seen in the man's eyes, as it had been exactly the same thing he'd seen in Aizawa Taki's eyes.

Loathing.

For different reasons, but it still came down to the same thing. And as angry as that made him, it terrified him even more, until all he really wanted was to get home and bawl like a baby for Yuki's cold affection.

"Sir?" The cashier was giving him a wary look, her head tilted slightly to the side.

Shuichi startled out of his petrified daze and knew he had been staring at the girl for too long when her look turned from concerned to suspicious. "Can I take your item, please?"

"I uh ... I'm sorry," Shuichi grinned from ear to ear, hoping his expression came off as contrite instead of scared shitless. "I zoned out there for a bit. You know, these lines are awfully long for someone with such a short attention-span like me ... I tend to let my thoughts drift a little too far away," he scratched his head sheepishly for effect and slumped a little in relief when her eyes cleared and she was beaming a sunny smile at him, saying something about how she always did that as well and how glad she was she wasn't the only one. .

Shuichi nodded through the whole thing and pretended that there wasn't a really huge, intimidating man proverbially breathing down his neck.

Now all he had to do was get home. Really fast, he added as an afterthought, and tried not to feel too pathetic as the anxious feeling disappeared with the sound of the sliding doors closing behind him. _What does that say about me?_ Shuichi thought as he pocketed the cigarettes and headed for the apartment, slowing his steps down to a normal pace with difficulty. _How could some prejudiced asshole get me to panic like that? _

He breathed harshly through his nose, trying to ignore the lump in the back of his throat.

_I thought I'd gotten over it, _he thought angrily, blinking past the unshed tears blurring his sight as he started to run. He just wanted to get home where he was safe.

_I haven't been getting over shit.  
_

* * *

"You told him to fetch your smokes for you?" Tatsuha eyed his brother incredulously. "You're joking, right? I mean ... Jesus, if I had a cute lover like him, hell ... if I even had his _twin _I wouldn't let the guy out of my sight," he leered at his brother, "Or my bedroom, for that matter."

Yuki rolled his eyes dismissively, pointedly looking away from the perverted look on his younger brother's face. "You're not getting your hands on Shuichi _or _Sakuma Ryuichi. Not a chance," he stated dryly, ignoring the other's crestfallen look and an indignant reply of 'Bro, you really know how to stomp on a man's heart.'

"I sometimes wonder why he puts up with everything you throw at him, though," Tatsuha said after a long silence, giving his brother a measuring look to see if that had been enough for him to get his ass kicked out of the apartment. "I just don't understand why you can't tell him what he means to you. It's rather obvious that you love him," he glared as Yuki emitted a sarcastic snort, "Since you do let him stay here ... and you did return from New York."

His breath caught as Yuki's eyes met his own, and for a moment he realized how different from each other they had grown up to be, as piercing, golden eyes met dark brown ones.

"He saved you, you know," Tatsuha said softly.

Eiri kept his gaze steady, but something shifted in his eyes, if only for a second.

"I never asked to be saved."

The silence covered them as a heavy blanket, making Tatsuha fidget and Eiri light the last of his cigarettes, frowning at his own words. He really hadn't meant to say that. But his brother could be such a _pest _sometimes. Just like the rest of his family, he thought bitterly, taking a deep breath of the cancer-stick in his mouth.

Maybe he shouldn't have sent the brat away like that. Then he would've still been at home, and then Tatsuha and Shuichi could've been annoying at each other so he could've locked himself in his study avoiding introspective questions from his brother and not having to feel any guilt about leaving the brat by himself. Not that he ever felt like that ... he just didn't like the idea of his furniture getting unneeded attention from a bored Shuichi.

Right.

When _was_ the little idiot planning to get home anyway? Surely shopping shouldn't take anyone that long. _Unless Shuichi met one of those idiot friends of him. _Yuki grimaced, wishing he hadn't smoked the entire pack in one day. He didn't like being alone with Tatsuha without a nice stock of cigarettes backing him up, not when his brother was in one of his weird moods ... like today.

The sound of the door lock opening broke the oppressing silence and Eiri heaved a relieved sigh at the footsteps that came running down the hall. His relief, however was soon replaced by a clenching sensation in his chest when Shuichi burst through the door looking like he'd been dragged all the way home. Tatsuha gasped at the sight the young singer made, and Eiri got up from his slouching position on the couch, only to stare in terrified shock as the usually so vibrant Shuichi closed off his expression when he caught sight of the two men.

Tatsuha looked from Shuichi to Yuki and back, before getting up from the chair he had been sitting in and approaching Shuichi in a friendly way, 'Welcome back Shuichi!' He flashed the kid a grin and slung his arm over slightly trembling shoulders, eyes knitting together worriedly as he took in the guarded way Shuichi was holding himself.

"Did you get the grouch his cigarettes? Or did you get carded?" He asked jokingly, eyes flicking back to Eiri, beckoning him to take over and find out what the hell was wrong with the pink haired boy.

"What the hell took you so long?" Eiri's voice snapped through Shuichi's senses and he flinched, blinking up at his lover towering over him looking nowhere near pleased. He hadn't noticed him getting so close.

"Bro ...," Tatsuha reprimanded, only to receive a pissed off glare from the golden haired man.

"It's time for you to go home, Tatsuha," Eiri told him in a warning tone, his gaze lingering on the top of Shuichi's head before he gestured towards the door, obviously requesting some privacy for whatever he was about to do. Tatsuha could only hope his brother would do the right thing, and not push the singer away again.

"Take care of him, big bro," he said with a wave to them both, hesitating for a moment in the doorway before he went on his way, softly closing the door behind him and wandering down the abandoned hallways. He decided on taking the stairs to work off some of the tension that had been building ever since he'd entered the building. Visits to his brother had never been particularly pleasant over the past few years, but, he mused, times like these could really get you to understand sociopaths more.

He swung open the door that lead outside and stretched his legs before walking off to find his car, hoping he'd made the right decision in leaving the two men alone to sort things out.

* * *

TBC, if you want it to be. 


End file.
